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Why Are We in Such a Hurry to Lose Weight So Quickly - Knowing It's Unrealistic?

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I remain gobsmacked by a statistic I recently learned. By this time of the year, north of 80 percent of people who - at the beginning of the year - said, "This time I mean it! This is the year I'm going to lose those extra pounds," have given up. 

Done. Over. Wiped their hands and walked away.

The Centers for Disease Control says that, as of 2012, 69 percent of our population is overweight or obese, with almost half of those folks classified as "obese." Those extra pounds underwrite a multitude of health conditions, both physical and emotional; and we all know about them. Therefore, one might think that the urgency to shed an expanded waistline could be enough incentive to stick with a program longer than six weeks.

One might think that. One would also be wrong.

The number one reason people quit their program is that they don't feel they're losing quickly enough. Granted, if they could slow down racing to the refrigerator long enough to realize that a slow weight loss is faster than a no weight loss, they might stick with it a tad longer. Yet, in all fairness, it's difficult to remain cold sober logical about your progress when the scale won't budge. "Get-thin-quickly" scam artists are partially to blame for the false expectations that drive the frustration, but they are actually symptoms of a deeper problem fostering the unrealistic drive to drop weight faster than a brick can fall from a six-foot wall.

So, why are we in such a hurry?

There are two factors at play.

In no particular order, the first reason we crave losing weight at an unrealistic pace is that we're afraid that we will lose our motivation before we "get there." We think, "If I can just shed these pounds before my mojo goes, I'll be okay. After all, once it evaporates, it's never to be seen again."

The reality however is that motivation FOLLOWS behavior; it doesn't cause it. 

What propels us to begin the journey are feelings of desperation, anger, shame, fear, self-disgust, embarrassment, any of the above, all of the above. It matters not which dictionary you chose, none of those emotions will be associated with the definition of "motivation."

In actuality, we start from a place of "inspiration," rather than "motivation" - and there's a significant distinction in that. "Inspiration" is external, while "motivation" is birthed from within. We can control motivation but not inspiration. Moreover, despite common knowledge, "inspiration" is not a choir of angels signing on high and it is not always pretty; it can be downright gritty and ugly. Having a doctor tell you that you're going to have a heart attack if you don't lose the weight is inspirational. Hearing your spouse say, "You've really let yourself go. What happened to you?" is inspirational. Understanding there are more years in the rear view mirror than through the windshield can be inspirational. Most times, we're inspired to change because of fear or pain. We hate where we are and we want to move far and fast away from it. To that end, we'll do whatever it takes.

But because we do take action, we get results. The scale moves, our energy rebounds, our clothes fit better. That feels good and the dark cloud starts to clear, leaving behind it feelings of happiness, pride, success, and empowerment; indeed the very definition of "motivation." Now motivated and driven by our own actions, we attempt other behaviors and achieve better results.

Motivation doesn't just "happen," it is forged from small actions done repeatedly. It will show up anytime we need it. Invite it in, change a small behavior and focus on how you feel.

That second reason we are in such a hurry to lose weight - as opposed to in a thought-out, healthy, and sustainable manner - is complicated, but in part due to the fact that "fat shaming" is still accepted, even when so many other tactless slurs are now considered loutish and vulgar. The humiliation and guilt of being overweight casts its sufferers as lesser and out of control. The overweight are recipients of ignorant, countless wagging fingers - in person and throughout the media - proclaiming boorishly that if they possessed better willpower and a stronger moral character, they'd be thin. Condescending, hurtful, and hateful messages are hurled without end.

The unfairness of how society treats its citizens of size however is not the issue. 

What matters is how we, the punching bags of those cultural jabs, react to it; swallowing the false premises and believing that until one can "get his or her act together," he or she is not allowed to be fully happy and accepted.

So, once the decision to drop weight is made, we desperately want to do it hurriedly, allowing us to enjoy our lives upon completion. Sadly, the unrealistically fast expectations perpetrated by fad diets and snake oil charlatans enhances the feelings of disappointment, sadness, and incompetence, some of the more powerful triggers of the habit. This causes the journey to be even rockier and more difficult, becoming unnecessarily laborious cause the resumption of "comfort behaviors." Progress stalls. Feelings of failure and ineptitude are further cemented in place and, alas, the cycle is reborn.

Since we can't change how others think, the solution is to silence one's own inner jerk and appreciate that the number on the scale has no correlation to moral value. If one is a cretin at 250 pounds, he will remain a cretin at 150 pounds. If one is a lovable, caring soul at 175 pounds, she will sill be the same even 35 pounds heavier.

We mistakenly believe that upon conquering our habit; it will always be sunny, bills will never arrive unexpectedly; stress will vanish; and our friends, families, and co-workers will always treat us in the fashion we expect. The Promised Land is advertised as the destination to every phony diet claim.

Guess what? Ain't gonna happen.

One does not become "better" simply because the scale flashes an appropriate number. What does happen is he or she becomes healthier. Sure, people who have successfully lost weight might appear happier, but it's a result of the sense of accomplishment of beating back a monkey hoisted on our backs for too long, not because we became "better."

Most importantly, happiness and improved health do not commence at "goal weight." Rather, they begin the moment one sets foot on the path to change and they amplify with every additional footfall.

Scott "Q" Marcus is a motivational weight loss expert who specializes on helping baby boomers live happier, healthier lives. He is a professional speaker, Syndicated Columnist, and the CRP (Chief Recovering Perfectionist) of ThisTimeIMeanIt.com, a site for people who are tired of making promises to themselves but are willing to do what it takes to actually makes changes. In addition, he conducts speeches, workshops, and presentations throughout the country on how to achieve goals, improve attitude, and enjoy the process. You can contact him for speaking, coaching or consulting, or you can sign up for his free weekly "Monday Motivational Memo" at http://www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com

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